Had the exact same problem a couple of years ago, couldn't understand **** what some more experienced people were saying:
this is how I picture a 4 stroke engine in my mind
stroke 1 sucking fuel in the cilinder stroke, wich means, the piston goes down, the cam pushes on the inlet valves wich then open making it possible for fuel coming from the carb being sucked into the cilinder by the vacuum created from the downward motion of the piston
stroke 2 compression stroke, all valves are closed, piston is coming up to top dead center thus compressing the fuel mixture.
stroke 3 boom stroke, spark plug gives a spark, mixture goes boom, piston goes down, exhaust valves start to open already if I'm not mistaking
Stroke 4 getting rid of the burnt gasses stroke, piston goed up to top dead center, cam pushes on tappets exhaust valves fully open, piston pushes the bunrt gasses out.
The stroke you want is the compression stroke, as you can see when you set the valves when the engine is on the 'getting rid of burnt gasses' stroke you'll set them wrong since the cam is pushing down on the tappets. Easiest way to find out wich one is the compression stroke is to take out the spark plug, put a spanner on the flywheel nut, turn the engine over by hand and watch the tappets, you'll be able to easily identify each stroke when you see the movement of the tappets.
Your explanation of getting a blow/suck scenario at the exhaust port is in my opinion the result of having set your valves at the wrong TDC.
About the doc, it's a wealth of information but you have to speak not only English but also Taffyish, wich can be hard sometimes.
Hope this helps and don't give up, when you get it started you'll be smiling like an idiot and pulling wheelies like Evil Knievel