BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, what's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
(sound like certain famous hotel heiress?)
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & ; Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
“HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde.
"They're watch dogs!"
My personal favorite............
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here
and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how
to get started".
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's
finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a
rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread
all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at
the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we
do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything
resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's
have a nice cup of tea, and then .." he said with a deep sigh, ......
(scroll down)
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
